I have tried therapy on 3 separate occasions.
To some, that may not sound like a lot. However, opening up, and sharing painful emotions each time was not easy for me.
Seeking therapy for the first time was terrifying because I did not know what to expect. I can remember thinking,
“This is the person who is going to help me solve my problems. I will finally be happy.”
Unfortunately, I was left with tremendous disappointment, shame, and regret. By the third try, and third therapist – I had given up.
I thought, “Why would I put myself through that AGAIN? Why aren’t they able to help me? Surely, it has to be me.”
However, I now understand that part of my disappointment was because I went into the experience unprepared.
If therapy is something you are considering, I want you to be prepared for the road ahead, and equipped with some of the knowledge you need to do your part.
If you’ve already tried therapy & things haven’t worked out, perhaps these tips can give you some insight.
Here are 6 things to remember as you move forward.
1. Have an open mind.
Therapy is a partnership. It requires two individuals (you and your therapist) who want to work toward the best possible outcome.
However, just like a friendship or relationship, sometimes things just aren’t a good fit.
When you meet your therapist and begin your sessions, over time, you will be able to determine whether or not the two of your are a good fit. By “good fit” I mean whether the two of you mesh well.
2. Do your research.
It is important to research the services your therapist offers & to consider why you are going to them in the first place. To explain, most therapists will have specific challenges they specialize in.
If you are visiting a therapist because you are seeking therapy for depression and anxiety, make sure that this is on their list of specialties. This way, you will feel more comfortable knowing they are equipped to help you work through these areas.
It is also important that you find out what therapy style your therapist utilizes during their sessions.
For example, some therapists may utilize Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, (a form of therapy that focuses on improving negative thought patterns to improve ones overall quality of life). While some offer a combination of different techniques & so on.
But, it is important to know what treatment style your therapist offers & familiarize yourself with it so that you’ll have better understanding of what to expect during your sessions.
3. Therapy will not solve all your problems.
This was a very hard pill for me to swallow. many people (myself included) go into therapy thinking that the person who is on the other end listening to our issues will somehow be able to provide us with the magic words to make our pain go away. My experience has taught me that while it is the therapists job to give advice, clarity, and perspective, it is up to us to apply it to our lives.
4. Create an “after therapy” plan.
If possible, try to schedule your therapy sessions on a day when you know you will have time to process what you’ve just talked about.
Sometimes painful memories and emotions may resurface during the conversation with your therapist. For me, it was very helpful to schedule my sessions on days when I knew I’d have time after to journal, reflect, or be around people who genuinely care about my well-being.
You can feel quite vulnerable after a particularly heavy session, and so it is important to surround yourself with support and compassion.
5. You are not a “lost cause.”
After you’ve gone to a few sessions, there may be moments when you feel as though things aren’t getting anywhere or you are not making progress.
Keep in mind that this process is not easy and takes a lot of time, commitment and work. Do your best to communicate your thoughts to your therapist , so that they can work with you to adjust, or create a plan that will work for the two of you.
If you’ve tried this, and things still don’t feel quite right, it is okay to move on. The important thing is to express how you feel to your therapist. It is their job to help, even if that means referring you to someone else who may be a better fit.
6. Find what works for you.
Therapy is a tool. It is a resource that we may or may not utilize during our healing journey. If you’ve tried therapy, and it hasn’t worked out for you yet, take a break, but don’t lose hope.
There are many other resources that can help you gain clarity on your path. Self help books, support groups, exercise, nature, a healthy diet, practicing mindfulness, seeing other professionals, are all helpful tools to use along your journey.
The most important thing I want you to keep in mind is that your pain, your story, your voice MATTERS.
Don’t allow anyone to minimize your feelings or experiences. If something has affected you on a deeply painful level, it deserves the space to be heard.
Whether you are considering therapy, or have tried and it hasn’t worked out yet, keep in mind that no two paths will look exactly the same. What may work well for one person, may not work for you & that is okay.
The important thing is that you continue pursuing the things that are good for your mind, body, and well-being.
DISCLAIMER: The information, posts, graphics, resources on this website are for informational/motivational purposes only. This platform is NOT intended to replace professional mental health care, advice, or attempt to diagnose, treat/cure, any mental health disorders. The information provided should not be used as an alternative to seeking support from medical professionals. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions or concerns you may have regarding a mental health condition. If you are experiencing an immediate emergency, please call 911.
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