Hello & welcome (or welcome back) I am truly happy to have you here.
It is my belief that our experiences from childhood (both good and bad) play a role in shaping our personalities and viewpoint of the world.
These experiences also impact our ability to trust, the way we express ourselves & interact with others, the quality of our relationships and friendships, ability to handle conflict & talk through challenging emotions & so much more…
Living in survival mode
While there are many ways childhood trauma may impact our adult lives…
This message is especially for you if you grew up in an environment where you consistently felt unsafe (emotionally, mentally, physically).
Because you felt unsafe regularly, you may have subconsciously (unknowingly) gone into survival mode in an attempt to protect yourself.
It is usually in survival mode that defense mechanisms are developed. Defense mechanisms are the body and minds ways of doing everything they can to protect us from a perceived or actual threat.
In adulthood, feeling unsafe, emotionally, mentally, and physically may present as:
- defensiveness
- always feeling attacked and judged by others
- feeling as though no one can be trusted
- difficulty expressing our feelings and emotions
- withdrawing from others
(To name a few)
Or it may be the opposite…
Because you did not feel safe growing up, you now search for a sense of security & protection in people, relationships, friendships or just about anything that you believe can fill that void.
It is important that I explain that there is nothing wrong with wanting to feel safe in our relationships with others. In fact, we absolutely SHOULD feel safe.
However, it becomes harmful when we become dependent on others to fill a void and to heal us in the spaces we are hurting.
You did not deserve what happened to you
No matter which defense mechanism you can identify with, I want you to know that you did the best you could with what you had.
For a very long time, you had to protect yourself. You had to be on guard every second of the day because whenever you weren’t, you were hurt.
You had to fight constantly. In your heart, you hoped for an outlet. Someone to talk to who could understand what you were going through. But it seemed like this was impossible to find.
So you did what you knew best. You built a wall of protection around your heart to protect yourself. You’ve convinced yourself that no one can hurt you now because they cannot reach you.
You did not deserve what happened to you. You did not deserve to feel worthless, unlovable, hated, ignored, overlooked, or alone.
No matter how badly you were treated in the past, it is important that you know YOU DID NOT DESERVE IT…no matter what you may have been led to believe.
God does not hate you
He was not punishing you. Your pain mattered to Him then, and it matters to Him now.
I am sorry if you’ve been made to feel like you are a mistake. You deserve to have people in your life who mean you well, who love you, who see the best in you, who want to be there for you to support, love, cherish, and uplift you.
Continue protecting your heart, because not everyone is meant to be close to you. But there are people out there who will get to know you and LOVE you – simply for being yourself.
Leave a Reply