One of the most important things I have learned so far in my healing journey is the importance of self-care. Whenever I am not taking care of myself enough, it begins to take a toll in other areas of my life. Adding self-care practices have been beneficial to my well-being in many, many ways. I feel a sense of accomplishment, peace of mind, and renewed confidence after I’ve completed the steps in my routine or spent time doing something for myself. Below are some tips and ideas to keep in mind as you develop a routine for yourself.
1. Choosing a timeframe
Many of us live very busy lives and may not have a lot of time to do anything extensive in the self-care department. The good thing is that a self-care routine does not have to be long or super detailed. It can be as short as 5 minutes or as lengthy as a couple of hours. The important thing is that you try to carve out some time that is dedicated specifically to you.
Next, consider what time of the day you will be able to complete your routine on a consistent basis. For example, my days usually start very early. I don’t have much time in the morning to give my undivided attention to myself the way I would like. I mean, I probably could if I were to wake up earlier, but that is not my path right now lol. I am also pretty busy throughout the afternoon as well. I have found that I have the most free time late evening or at night. Because of this, a nighttime routine is what works the best for me.
My nighttime routine looks something like this: Pick out comfortable/cute pajamas to sleep in. Even though I am just going to sleep, I still like to take my time with this because it is apart of my “me time.” Plus, when I am wearing a cute pj set, it somehow lifts my mood before going to sleep. After this, I shower, and moisturize afterwards. No matter how tired I am, I never skip moisturizing, (even if it is rushed). If done properly, it keeps the skin smooth and glowing for hours! Next, I apply cuticle oil to my finger nails and toe nails. Followed by brushing/flossing my teeth, and applying Jamaican black castor oil to my edges for growth. And that’s it! A short, yet effective routine. & this works for me because it helps to lift my mood and allows me to spend a little time taking care of myself.
2. Do what works best for you
Everyone’s idea of self care is different and that is completely normal. You aren’t doing it wrong if your routine is shorter or looks differently from someone else’s. What matters is that you are spending quality time with yourself – even if it is short.
Also, you do not have to spend any money on a self-care routine (if you don’t want to or can’t at the moment). While it is definitely nice to get your nails or hair done, a massage, or shopping trip, there is plenty that you can do that is free of charge and perhaps even more beneficial to your mental wellness in the long run.
This can look like: praying /meditating, reading a couple pages from a book you are interested in or love, reciting positive affirmations to yourself, journaling, stretching/exercising, moving your body in a way that feels fun and good, or simply sitting in silence. Here’s a tip: choose at least one self-care activity and practice doing it on a daily or weekly basis. Whichever you prefer. After a while and with consistency, it’ll feel like second nature, especially if it is helpful to you in some way.
3. When you don't feel like it
To be transparent, there are times when being consistent with my self-care routine is not easy. When my mood is low, I don’t always have the energy (or desire) to complete certain activities or tasks. When I feel this way, I try to be patient and compassionate with myself… (which is also a form of self-care).
I know how frustrating and defeating it can feel to know an activity is good for you, yet you don’t have the energy to do it. Sometimes I am able to push through the heavy feelings, and then there are times I am not. I am learning to be okay with this.
If or when you are struggling to be consistent with a routine, it’s okay. Try not to be hard on yourself. Sometimes self-care looks like laying in bed and watching your favorite movie or show. It can also look like talking to a friend or family member about how you are feeling. Self-care can also be allowing yourself to feel your emotions and to have a good cry. Crying can be an excellent way to release pent up emotions. It is not a sign of weakness and you have not failed just because you are having a hard time.
4. You are worth the effort
For a long time, self-care is something I really struggled with (and still do at times). I never really knew how to make myself a priority and therefore, always put my wants and needs last. I was usually preoccupied with work, school, family, friends, or relationships. I did not truly see the importance of self-care until I was in the depths of a massive burnout. I had given and poured out so much that I reached a point where it felt like I had nothing left to give. I needed to find a way to actively fill my cup. For a while, I did not mind putting myself last if it meant someone else would be happy. Of course, this way of living only led to bitterness, passive aggressiveness, and resentment. I had to learn to stop feeling guilty for choosing myself. (A work in progress).
I want you to know that it is okay and necessary to prioritize yourself. In life, we all have responsibilities and obligations that can be demanding and time consuming. The key is taking the time to create some kind of balance and carving out time to replenish ourselves when we feel drained. Think about it this way, if you are constantly feeling depleted, overworked, unimportant, tired, drained, and not doing anything to take care of yourself, how long do you think you will be able to continue pouring from an empty cup? & I say this with love… You will have to be intentional and make the time.
Neglecting self-care can show up in the form of anger, bitterness, health issues, mental health struggles… just to name a few. I hope that these tips have given you something to think about and a healthy place to start in developing your self-care routine.
Lastly, you do not have to do everything (or anything) on this list, but I wanted to at least give you some ideas. Do what works best for YOUR mind, body, and soul. We cannot give our best if we do not feel our best. You deserve the same level of care, attention, and love that you show others.
One more thing,
Below is a list of self-care tips and ideas. Feel free to download or print it out to keep with you for reference.
(Hold down the picture above to save it).
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